What is marriage?
In marriage, two people are making a public commitment to each other. A commitment to love, to comfort, to live in a way that always does the other person good and not harm. It’s important to remember these things in the lead up to the wedding, but also for the rest of your lives as you give yourselves to each other.
During the marriage service there are a number of things that you will have to say. It is worth looking at these words carefully so that you can think through them and understand them before making the commitment to each other.
First, you will be asked to declare your intention to marry each other, using the following words:
N, will you take N to be your wife?
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her,
and, forsaking all others,
be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
Groom: I willN, will you take N to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him,
and, forsaking all others,
be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
Bride: I will
Later in the service you will be asked to make your vows to each other. The groom speaks first:
I, N , take you, N ,
to be my wife,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part;
according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
And then the bride follows:
I, N , take you, N ,
to be my husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, (or to love, cherish and obey)
till death us do part;
according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
At the giving of rings, the following words are used by the groom and then the bride:
N, I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Take time to familiarise yourselves with these words, and to think about the commitment you are making to each other. Sometimes this can get lost in the middle of preparations for the big day, but these promises will live with you throughout your married lives together.
(Vows and declarations taken from Common Worship, (c) The Archbishop’s Council of the Church of England, 2000-2006)